I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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