I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
