I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
