You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
All the doctor said was why
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
