She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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