i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
