So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
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Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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