Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I cut my penus on the lid.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
