I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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