yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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