When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
