I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
