dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
