Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
