And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
