What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
