just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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