Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize