So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
