There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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