Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
