i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
