Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
