she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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