Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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