At least make sure they are 18
Why
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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