Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she peed on how many people?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
