Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
