Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
