worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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