He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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