Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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