there was a trapeze. enough said
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
