I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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