Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
