she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
