apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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