i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
