it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
