I have demons in me.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize