porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
