I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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