Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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