she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I cut my penus on the lid.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
