Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
