I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You ruined the universe
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
