I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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