hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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