guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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