don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize