you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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