I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
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I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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