I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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