Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
