I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
