Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
