are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
