I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
