yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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