who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize