I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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