He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
