turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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