whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
